I Kept Quiet About My Pregnancy

I Kept Quiet About My Pregnancy

You’re dying to tell the world, but you want to wait till you pass the 12-week milestone. Waiting till the end of the first trimester is increasingly common, as this period is usually the highest risk period for any pregnancy complications.

But the emotions can be extra complicated for someone like me who found out that I was expecting finally after two consecutive miscarriages. I was no longer grieving, but the pain and fear of loss were still there.

When the two pink lines in the litmus paper showed up so quickly this time, I cried secretly. I didn’t tell my husband right away after my home pregnancy test. It’s not just those happy, excited tears but the anxiety that I could lose the baby again. No one is prepared for that anyway. Every day that passes by, I slowly let myself believe the lines are for real.

WHEN I TOOK THE TEST, AND IN THAT MOMENT, AS I STARED AT THE TWO PINK LINES, THERE WERE ONLY TWO CREATURES THAT KNEW ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF MY BABY: ME, AND HIM or HER

So I kept the pregnancy test kit for a while. However, I feel that he’s also hoping because he knows precisely the calendar. Until I couldn’t hide my excitement, I revealed it to him one morning.

It was in the 5th week. We decided not to consult a physician yet. Instead, we let another two weeks pass by. This time, we took things differently and slowly — we kept it to ourselves first. So, we had a little secret until 12 weeks. And we decided to inform our immediate family and our CFC (household) community.

Probably people will say that there couldn’t be any reason to keep such a significant life-changing moment a secret. However, our family and household/community weren’t too surprised when we asked them to avoid posting anything on social media and telling other people until we were ready.

I spend a lot of time on the internet and writing about my personal experiences, and I’m not very open with most details of my life. I like to have my privacy, and I love to share intimate parts of myself with only those closest to me.

Sometimes it’s good to keep everything private, and I don’t see any advantage in posting on social media and letting the world know about my personal life. I’m not a celebrity or public figure anyway. 🙂

Months went by before my friends asked if they’d ever see anything pop up on my Instagram. However, found out Mama have informed other members of the family and close friends. Indeed, I think it was harder for them to keep secrets than for Ed and me. Yet, we kept quiet. We felt it was comfortable and natural only to worry about pleasing ourselves.

WE WERE ABLE TO DO THINGS ON OUR SCHEDULE, TO OUR OWN AGENDA AND WITHOUT ANY UNWANTED ADVICE

At first, we thought we’d wait until after Christmas. But once Christmas passed, we realized the more real timeline that worked for us was “as long as possible.” So, we decided to keep it until at least a week before I delivered. I even took some time off from blogging and posting full-body photos on social media.

It was nice to share this time with just ourselves and our family. I want to get back to those days when the only people who wished you happy birthday were the ones who were closest to you or phoned you. They are the ones who know your birthday even without the reminder from Facebook. So, rather than miss those feelings again — we decided not to. We shared this particular time without anyone else, and it felt so much more intimate and stress-free. We were able to do things on our schedule, to our plan and without any unwanted or unsolicited advice. It has been fantastic.

The moment we decided we were going to keep the majority of our pregnancy offline, an instant relief lifted directly off of my shoulders.

I love being pregnant, and I love the way my body feels. I love the baby’s movement when I lay still at night, and I love how honestly healthy I have felt. Since being pregnant, I’ve been in better spirits; no stomach pains, bleeding, and other health issues existed for nine months. So, thanks, baby. For making my 2020 start so wonderfully. To God be the glory! (See my bump days before I gave birth to our little bundle of joy.)


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